say it loud

10/17/2012

I've tried to ignore the way people here view themselves in terms of skin color. It is similar to people of color in the states (but less discrete). The deeply rooted self hatred is apparently universal. The other day my friend asked me if I use the same lotion on my face that I use on my arms. I told her yes, why do you ask? She then said that my face skin in prettier and clearer than my arms. Unlike my face my arms have zero acne so I know that it wasn't the texture that she was referring to. Clear in french here means lighter. This conversation reminded me of all the women here who use skin lightening lotions everyday and wear make up 3 shades lighter than their actual skin tone. Can you imagine what this kind of behavior can do to the psyche, not to mention the health risks involved. It is upsetting that our universal idea of beauty excludes so many kinds of people. Whenever I encounter someone who says "I can't stay in the sun, I'll get too black" or "You need to do something with your hair, its too nappy" I make an effort to show that I do not agree with those views. Despite this began to realize that some of those same feelings are inside of me. I am a product of my environment and when we're getting brain washed daily on what "beauty" is, its really hard to see past it. Everyday we are told that a certain standard is true beauty and you don't fit the mold.

Even other volunteers here do it. They will see a Burkinabe that is lighter or that has Arabic features and they will say wow she/he is so beautiful. My favorite is she's pretty for a/an African/ black person/ dark skinned girl/ Burkinabe. It's like they never thought an African  could be attractive. Ha it's really discouraging. Well forget that, I'm sick of defending the way that I look. I don't care if my skin blackens in the sun, that my hair is nappy, that my lips are luscious, that my nose is big, that my butt is bodacious.

I'm black and I'm proud.